If Someone Says They’ll Drink More If They Stop Smoking Marijuana Is That A Sign Of Addiction?
I was with a man for nearly a decade. After we had a child I was hoping he would cut out his marijuana habit as we’d discussed it in the past. I quit when I discovered I was pregnant and he cut back (and apparently hid it from me when he smoked thereafter). We’d had discussions about it in the past and I never thought it was going to be a life-long “lifestyle” and that we’d both grow out of it like our friends did overtime.
However when I started talking about how it might be a good idea for him to quit he became very resistant and said that I was trying to “control” him and that he liked living his life that way. He then made several comments, one that “would you rather I drink or smoke pot? Because if I don’t smoke pot I know I’ll drink more.” And this is what alarmed me.
I thought, why does he need either? Then he grew increasingly distant and ultimately ended our relationship after nearly ten years, claiming that I wasn’t accepting him for who he was. Although he says the pot was only part of it it really seemed to be the breaking point for him.
He’s 34 and says he’s not a “pot head” and that he just likes to “smoke pot recreationally a lot”.
Do you think he’s addicted and has a problem?
…more a sign of immaturity and experience…
…at 34, he has a problem to smoke for a prolong duration is an addiction…
…start looking for a way out for you and the child…
by *RED*
on 27. Nov, 2009
sounds like he just likes the feeling of a buzz no matter how he gets it so yes he is addicted if you cant quit something without wanting it you are addicted
by robbie_4
on 27. Nov, 2009
if he cannot just stop doing it socially for you and the baby then yes he’s addicted.
by amanda
on 27. Nov, 2009
No.
by Yankee Noodle
on 27. Nov, 2009
Yes, I do think he has an addiction, even though it may not be ‘physical’.
But anyone who breaks up a relationship involving a child because they cannot give up using an illegal drug, however mild or ‘recreational’ it is, clearly has issues.
If he cannot imagine giving up pot because the only alternative he sees is drinking (that is, he cannot imagine himself living a life which does not involve somehow getting ’stoned’ or ‘buzzed’ daily), to me that says he is addicted to getting ‘buzzed’, however he does that.
People with this sort of mindset can often be facing undiagnosed depression or other mental health issues and need medical assistance, but fail to seek it due to their lifestyle.
There are some great places where you can discuss this stuff. I’ve put a link below to one website where you can ask questions and discuss issues with others.
Best wishes
by thing 55001
on 28. Nov, 2009
Oh, yes, he has a problem, all right.
He is threatening you with becoming an alcoholic if you make him stop smoking marijuana.
10 years together or not, kid on the way or not, you do NOT want a chronic pot smoker/drinker in your child’s life.
If he has to sneak smoking weed from you, he obviously will not stop, even if he says he has, based on his track record.
It is a bitter pill to swallow, but it is not in the child’s best interest to keep him around unless he is 100% clean and sober.
You will get to the point where you will need to decide who you want in your life: your boyfriend or your child.
Don’t think he’ll get his act together if you two just get married. Odds are, that will only trap you.
Again, I reiterate, do NOT allow your child to be around anyone who uses or abuses drugs or alcohol. If they are, it is almost a certainty that child will abuse drugs and alcohol when they grow up.
by mbaman03
on 28. Nov, 2009
It’s not really addicting so much as it is habit forming. There are no addictive substances in marijuana, but the high that people get from it becomes so desirable that the user wants it every day. It’s pretty normal for people who have been doing it for as long as he has. He’s not addicted to marijuana – he is addicted to being high. He’s probably correct in saying he would start drinking more. Quitting marijuana is fairly easy… it just takes a period of limiting himself and cutting back gradually. If he doesn’t want to do it, he won’t be able to. You may not be able to force him to do it, you’ll just have to try to encourage him to quit and if that doesn’t work encourage him to get some professional help.
by Kendrick Perkins
on 28. Nov, 2009
Pot is not addictive. It is habit forming but you will not go through withdrawals just because you don’t have it. I doubt that he has any problems if he is a recreational smoker. I know people who smoke heavily and still maintain a job/family/etc. He most likely said that he would start drinking more because he thinks that would make you change your mind about his sobriety. There is a chance he would drink more because at one point when I quit smoking pot, I did start drinking more just to get that buzz. But drinking is just not the same and often leads to more headaches/stomach probs/shitting/throwing up/etc. Pot is funny because it never killed or hurt anyone and is non addictive yet it is classified and made the focal point for the war on drugs.
by vect97
on 28. Nov, 2009
I smoked weed daily for ten years and then stopped. I crave it every day, especially when I work (because I used to do this stoned, but don’t worry, I’m not a nuclear engineer or a bus driver). The only thing that takes the edge off the cravings is a shot or four of bourbon, or a beer or six. I only resort to drinking when I can’t take it anymore, but the point is I do resort to drinking. I’m not making a judgment call on any of your difficulties, as I don’t have children to consider, I’m just saying that quitting smoking weed has multiplied, easily, the amount I drink by a hundredfold. I used to seldom drink at all, now I actually go out and buy bottles of bourbon. It’s not pleasurable drinking, unfortunately, but at least for now it does seem quite necessary. At least, so I tell myself, it’s cheaper. Also, I eat a lot more often, probably to distract myself. By the way, you have a lovely green background, it reminds me of… drinking. : )
by Brien O
on 06. Feb, 2010