My Boyfriend Smokes Marijuana Everyday. He Is 34 And Has Smoked Since 13. Has He Caused Brain Damage?
I’ve been tryingt o get my boyfriend to quit smoking marijuana since we had our son three years ago and while he did cut back for a while he’s now back to smoking daily. He says I just need to accept him for who he is and that he enjoys living his life smoking marijuana. He doesn’t get high around our son so he is responsible in that way and he has always held down a good job, but I’m wondering if he’s not able to reach his full potential because of his use.
I know I shouldn’t make that big of a deal out of it but it’s bothering me. I was hoping he’d grow up when we had our child. But he says he doesn’t think he’ll ever quit smoking marijuana because it’s who he is.
I’ve stayed with him because he’s a very nice person and always treats me well but I wonder if the pot is affecting our lives together in the sense that he’s not fully present with me. He likes to get stoned a lot. Is he just escaping? And why? He said if he doesn’t smoke pot he’ll drink and asked which I’d prefer.
Marijuana does not harm the brain or have any harmful long term effects. Do some research- there’s more benefits to marijuana than one could dream. The alcohol is what is truly dangerous..
As far as smoking daily- I know plenty of people who do ( and all of them hold down good full time jobs with families).
While marijuana itself is not addicting- people can become mentally addicted to anything that makes them feel good. if you think this may be the case, I’d suggest trying to step in. However, marijuana CAN be used responsibly, and from what it sounds like, he is being responsible with his usage. If you two are having relationship problems don’t confuse that with his marijuana usage. Also, he may be smoking often to remain peaceful with you if things have been rough- in that case, you might want to be thanking him..
by AVoiceOf
on 25. Nov, 2009
You have been with him for a long time if you have a child together. You knew before you had a child that he smoked pot a lot. Having a child isn’t a cure and any adult should know that. It seems not fair to him that he has been straight up with you about what he has decided he wants in his life and now you are deciding to change your mind about it. He is responsible with your son, he has a job, he is a loving boyfriend. Really, is it the end of the world? No. Its the same as someone coming home and having a glass of wine or a beer with dinner each night. No one frowns upon that and there wouldn’t be a bunch of people here telling you to dump him. I think you should consider that maybe he just enjoys it, it relaxes him and allows him to recharge. You can’t fall in love with someone and make a life with them and then a few years later start requiring them to be a different person. You have to respect them and let them be who they need to be.
by katy22
on 25. Nov, 2009
Its not your job to try to fix him I learned that the hard way…I know you probably are figuring this out now but he is dragging you down because he does smoke said drug. Hes just not worth it and plus you have a son now and do you want such a negative influence on your son so he might do it when hes older because he saw his dad do it? Let go before its to late…the only thing you need to worry about is giving your little boy a good life with no drug influence what-so-ever.
by Bakugan Battle Brawlers Review
on 25. Nov, 2009
You are enabling him to continue by accepting his current potential. I would research the subject thoroughly and look into AA because the principles they learn from work because they are true.
by Ross
on 25. Nov, 2009
He treats you good, takes good care of your son and holds down a decent job… What are you complaining about? You knew he smoked before you got with him and before you had the kid with him. would you be thinking about dumping him if he drank a beer or two after work everyday? i think he is making a good choice in choosing marijuana over alcohol. its just a shame that this near harmless herb has a stigma attached to it. those who smoke it know what i am talking about.
my love and i smoke a lot and our feelings for each other never change. he is the same person to me, high or not. it never feels like he isn’t present with me. i don’t think we will ever quit smoking either because it relaxes us so good and makes us laugh even more than usual. i like laughing and having fun after a hard day of work and school. plus food tastes so much better. it doesn’t make me sick or give me any sort of hangover. plus you cannot overdose from it.
oh and marijuana doesn’t cause brain damage. i have some links you should look at
by Marlana D
on 25. Nov, 2009
Get a new man. He will end up getting you locked up or in trouble eventually. Weed is not that bad, but is illegal and carries that risk of legal trouble
by Chris O
on 25. Nov, 2009
Until you mentioned the drinking part at the end, I had no problem with him smoking daily… sounds like he is definitely doing this to escape real life. You might want to suggest counseling for him.. he should work out whatever issues are keeping him from enjoying his present fully so you can continue your lives together.
by eee
on 26. Nov, 2009
Break up with him. I had a boyfriend who smoked pot all the time, it got to be a real problem, if you know what I mean. The stupidity, the lack of sex drive, etc….
need I say more? Get out now.
by email lookup reverse
on 26. Nov, 2009
I’ve been debating the same issue. My significant other goes on herb binges then quits for a while, repeat, repeat. And when not smoking, he drinks beer pretty much daily after work.. Anything from 2 beers to a 6er.
I like to have a drink, and i usually drink w/ him on the weekend. sometimes a few to unwind.. Sometime I like to get down right drunk. And I’m not against him blazing in the same way.. A hit or 2 to unwind.
But the issue is balance. Naturally the beginning of relationships are about fun and feeling good but, after awhile, maybe a year or so, it’s normal to want some “evolution” in your relationship. As you mature into the relationship and discover your needs (which can AND WILL change) if your partner remains stagnant, it’s normal to feel unsatisfied.
Again, w/ substance use in a relationship, the iissue is balance.. If there is none.. It’s excess. And it gets old coming home to a stoned, lazy airhead who (like you said) isn’t REALLY present. You feel unsatisfied, reesentment builds, and it negatively effects your connection to and attraction for your mate.
And, for the record, when people are are stoned they DO come off as stupid (even if they’re not) and lazy cuz they’re response time is slow, they stare off into space, forget things you Just told them, laugh at lame things, etc. It’s fun but, if you need to feel this way everyday and can’t feel satisfied and content with life WITHOUT the assistance of mind altering substances (I’m talking daily, not just on weekend or occasionally) then you ARE using it to escape reality and if you cant deal with reality on a regular basis, you’ve definitely got a problem.
by Ocgirl
on 08. Dec, 2009